my life series; an uncool fool

Friday, June 03, 2005
friends i love

It'd been a pretty wild week for me so far. Late nights out nearly everyday. It was cool nevertheless cuz i know i'm not being a mere social butterfly, but rather i felt fulfilled and satisfied after all the catching up with some of my dearest friends.

it was rather a surprise today cuz amazingly, the whole load of us turned up. Wei, navin, peisi, martyn, yeeshan, boon and I. To me, i'd been seeing each individual of them throughout the sem since i came back, but it'd been a year since we last met everyone altogether.

A whole long year. Last time we met was around this period of time, before navin went germany. Throughout the year, there were some ups and downs, perturbations in between, yet i guess all these vanished in thin air with this bond that we all cherish. I guess that's what close friends are all about. We might not have been seeing each other for a hell long time, but everything is still yet so familiar after ages. As if nothing had ever changed.

I absolutely agree any relationship is always a two way traffic. Be it relationship, friendship or kinship. It takes effort and sincerity to keep it going. No matter how long the relationship had been standing; no matter how strong the faith is on the relationship; no matter how firm the relationship had been. To me, i want my close friends to feel that they're important and special to me. On the other hand, i want to feel the same way too from them. It's hard to put it into words, but somehow i know how'z it like when u value something, or when u're being valued. Put it bluntly, it's the thought that counts. And the thought's somehow expressed thru actions, in one way or another. Throughout the years, i realised that when people talk about love and care need not be shown in action or stuff like: i love you, i treasure u, i care about u inside my heart, although i dun show it...are actually crap. i agree that different people express love in all forms. But i think when u truly care and love a person, it shows from actions and promises. Be it in a subtle manner or in a expressive form, c'mon, it'll show naturally, inevitably. It might not be obvious to a 3rd party, but i'm sure the person can sense it somehow. It's about sincerity. It's about being genuine.

You know i always look back and recall how all of us actually got together as a bunch and how we got this far...and that always bring a smile to my thought, cuz i realised how lucky i could ever be.

teresa told me that at different stages of life, we find different best friends. Best friends now might not be best friends in the future, maybe just close friends. I'm still struggling with the thought. I used to be so certain that there are friends who was once big part of your life that can never be replaced, forever. But then again, maybe i'm not that certain now. I'm just thinking what defines a best friend. Friends who knew me inside out, yet still how much of my life now am i sharing with them. Friends whom i catch up with frequently, whom i'm comfortable with talking about any feelings, anything happening in my life; friends whom i first turn to whenever i feel like grumbling, moaning and sharing my joy or sadness with, why should they be secondary since our lives are so tightly linked with one another. Well, best friends or close friends, maybe it's not that important after all. Sometimes, i just wanna feel 'right', feel that i'm doing justice to what my head thinks.

Just thinking, when was the last time we intimately bared our hearts out to each other, truthfully.

uncool fool
x 1:38 AM x

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

love from grass...haha

uncool fool
x 1:50 AM x

this is nice, i love it, so candid

uncool fool
x 1:48 AM x

jsut chill !

uncool fool
x 1:43 AM x

photos finally

it'd been a long time since i last posted photos. Like what grass told me, i had lost the touch of frenzy-photo-taking, whenever, wherever, like how i used to be in canada. Different. I'm always the only one snapping around here. After a while, i feel odd. And bored.

a beautiful night along the waterfront bay at esplanade. Nothing fanciful, nothing expensive, just some soda, chips, dark skies and glittering lights reflecting from the river. Not much wind, just good company, casual chat and good chilling. With the cranky grass, and my camera, we're in action once again ;)

I'm feeling at ease this evening. Maybe cuz tonight, i relish something which i haven't been doin for a looong loong time :)

uncool fool
x 1:09 AM x